Helldivers 2 - Insert Bug Pun Here (Review)

Helldivers 2

Publication date: February 8, 2024

Developer: Arrowhead Game Studios

Sony Interactive Entertainment is the publisher.

PC and PS5 systems (reviewed)

[Note: Helldivers 2 received a fresh patch within the brief period between the drafting of this review and its release. I have no interest in it. I tried giving this game more than a week (and several patches) to stop being annoying, but it didn't work, so I won't take any "But have you played it since the update?" criticism. I went over the game I played, which is the one they recommended to me.]

It's really sad where mainstream games are at right now.

PC and PS5 systems (reviewed)

Even after being available for far longer than a week, Helldivers 2 continues to have connection problems that, even on launch day, would have been considered intolerable. As if that weren't horrible enough, there are more glitches and breaks in store that will ruin any chance to appreciate Arrowhead's already rudimentary follow-up.

Helldivers 2 is attempting to find me an active game as I write this review. In actuality, it is informing me that there are no players online, which is untrue yet would make perfect sense at this juncture. One way that Sony's hot quasi-exclusive mishandles matchmaking is when it doesn't see any other players; even when it does remember where to look, it frequently doesn't join their lobbies.

This has been the case ever since the game's release. I've given it more time than it deserves to get its act together, but instead of becoming better, things have gotten worse over time. I repeat: that is fucking pathetic.

Once you start playing a game, you need to be aware of potential problems such as disconnections, loading errors, severe lag, and complete crashes. All of this is included in a game that has missions that may easily take you thirty minutes or longer to complete and that don't save any of your progress until you do.

Oh, and getting cosmetics and upgrades is quite tedious. You know, to exacerbate the agony of not being able to play it.

I say you can't play it, though. You can, but one of the worst things in the world is playing a game as a solitary player when it's solely designed for four-person teams. On all but the least difficulties, the absurdly large numbers of adversaries are just too much to handle, and numerous missions become much more difficult because they must be completed collectively.

Thus, in a technical sense, you can play it the same way you can technically conduct dental surgery, and the level of enjoyment will be about the same.

While I write, Helldivers 2 is still looking for a game to play.

It scarcely earns good faith, so I almost hate to discuss this product's virtues beyond the vulgarity of its inadequacy. Nevertheless, I have a lot to say about the sequel's more drastic stylistic deviations, as a huge fan of the first game.

First of all, when it functions properly, Helldivers 2 is a pretty good game. There's an intensely fun cooperative shooter there if you can join and stay in a session. Therefore, that is a plus.

The gameplay is structured similarly to that of its predecessor: you land on a planet with a primary goal and a ton of side missions, finish them, and then extract—all the while a swarm of hostile cyborgs or alien bugs are trying to eat you alive. The pleasure of shooting is immense, especially while dealing damage to the alien beasts' body parts.

You utilize your Strategems to your advantage once more, entering codes to summon heavy weaponry, gun turrets, and ordnance strikes and waiting for them like a militant Argos customer. Oh, and "friendly" fire is once again at full blast, capable of killing you with almost anything, including your own equipment.

Strangely, the top-down perspective of the first Helldivers game is replaced with a traditional third-person shooter presentation in Helldivers 2. There is only one advantage to this change: the intensity and threat of the action surrounding you are truly engrossing when battles are at their most chaotic. It perfectly conveys a "war is hell" atmosphere that more somber games frequently fall short of. Helldivers 2 transforms into something amazing as limbs fly, objects catch fire, and heavy weaponry bombards everything in its path.

Unfortunately, even in a steady, fluid, networked game, these exhilarating moments are few and far between. Maps tend to be quite large, with interesting locations spaced far apart and nothing but empty air in between. It takes up so much time to just jog. Running between landmarks with a useless stamina meter makes the arduous journey even more tedious. This is made worse by a few objectives where you have to wait a very long time for foes to spawn and a timer to count down.

It definitely ruins the experience of matchmaking when so much time is wasted waiting around doing nothing. There is seriously a lot of waiting around.

What made the first game unique is being somewhat undermined when the third-person perspective isn't enticing gamers into a pivotal battle. Compared to the original, which looked and felt fairly charming, this one looks like any number of generic sci-fi shooters. There's a recurring motif in the game, and if it weren't so glaringly flawed, it would be my main complaint: Helldivers 2's ugly graphics.

This is largely thanks to the fact cosmetics are now exploitatively monetized with a rotating shop and microtransactions because of course, they are. The once-endearing visual style of Helldivers has taken a friggin' dive as a direct response to this, ensuring the titular Helldivers themselves no longer boast a strong, distinctive look.

There used to be several unlockable costumes that followed a tidy black/yellow color scheme and looked like a hybrid of a Space Marine and a Manta Man; however, there are now so many outfits in so many different styles that they no longer have a cohesive look. Armor and helmets have the appearance of being from a dozen different video games.

As someone who adores makeup as well, I say this! I love bright clothes and quirky headgear, but not if they turn a game's aesthetic into bland uniforms. The disheartening distinction with Helldivers 2 is that. These costumes are just a mishmash of crap that appears like they were taken from Anthem, Destiny, and a bunch of other similar "service" games; they're not even bright or entertaining.

That's the external aspect. On the practical front, however, there's a worse thing: strategies suddenly seem to be worthless.

While there is still some value in using stratagems, the selection of items you can call upon in a task has decreased and has become monotonous. There are eighteen ways to call down ordnance/airstrikes, and the remainder of the toolbox is nearly completely composed of turrets and support weapons. All of the vehicles are gone, as are nonviolent equipment like the medic guns. A ton of other stuff is also gone and replaced with variations of the same shit.

Many unlocks are borderline useless, with the bevy of air and orbital strikes proving so much more effective than most other things. It is amazing to me that this game throws in multiple outfits that make you look like a medic, but they took the fucking medicine out.
Though I'm sure more features will be added in the future, this doesn't justify the "release it now, roadmap it later" mentality that needs to end. The feature set of Helldivers 2 is significantly different from that of the original game, which highlights the shifting perceptions of what constitutes a complete product and what does not.

Helldivers 2 is a mechanically and stylistically inferior shooter, even though it's still rather good and occasionally downright thrilling. It no longer looks innovative, and a great deal of the more inventive elements from the first game have just been dropped in favor of... what? An objectively less fascinating game, in my opinion?

Yes, that is a decision, for sure.

After removing so much of what made its predecessor special, Helldivers 2 finds it difficult to appeal. If that's the only thing that was wrong with it, then I'd be very appreciative. It's a complete mess of a product, with large chunks of time spent in an almost unplayable state and the remainder of the time marked by frequent crashes and other technical issues. A game produced by Sony is supposed to live up to certain standards, but Helldivers 2 serves as a stark reminder that these standards are ridiculously high.